turtles in a pond
Sweat and anxiety drip from me
regrets, failures, I have a few
I laugh for no reason
that’s a lie- I did know why
but some things can only be said
with a look
yesterday I was standing shirtless
staring into an algae-covered pond
where I had seen a turtle when a woman
started flirting with me ferociously,
like nothing I had ever experienced before
she wanted my body and said
I looked good for my age
I was nice about it, but my brain shuts down
when I’m caught off guard, and so I left
I thought about it for a long time afterwards,
imagining what might have transpired
if I had taken her up on her implied offer
and just generally being amused
the world is still burning though,
and no amount of distractions will change that
(my neighbor bangs his door shut
forty times a day,
while I clear my throat and hope
that no one can hear me)
reality is the sweat that drips
in the forests are endless mosquitoes
that cannot be swatted away
an art fair, a boat launch
a tarot card reading- okay
it’s not even ironic to me that my own health
is paralleling that of the world,
and if I don’t stop abusing my body right now,
my afflictions will be permanent and degenerative
but for the moment, I look good for my age
and I will always want to laugh
when you’re not supposed to
in the fall, all the places feel different
that time in between air-conditioning and heat,
when you neither sweat nor shiver,
feels cleaner and more orderly
the strength of structures seems self-evident
every building is a masterpiece,
nestled among the trees
and the start of school signals that the world
is still moving forward, despite it all
strange that some truths follow us everywhere
from season to season, person to person
and yet we keep making the same mistakes,
because it always looks just a little bit different
each time around
from marble halls in ancient Greece
where philosophers once debated
to the hair around my belly button
which is somehow distantly related
does this not sum up history?
of course, it’s not all about me
the shape of your toes would work just as well
or your old favorite plush toy
with its faint but lingering smell...
I wasn’t just looking for the turtle
I often stare at these shallow waters
and envy the creatures who live there
oblivious that any place else even exists
not far from there I stopped to look
at a long-neglected fountain,
and in a pool of water left by the rain
was a whole other world
out on a pier, I noticed the moon was right near
the top of a tree where a bird,
maybe on osprey, was perched
I watched and waited for fifteen minutes,
but it never flew, and in this time
I saw the moon move behind the branches
it occurred to me that I have only witnessed this
once or twice before
years ago I looked through a cheap telescope
for the first time, and I could see the craters
and mountains as clear as day
I had known about the moon my whole life
I had been seeing the moon my whole life
but it never seemed quite real until that moment
~
2021 - 2024