my kind of thing
“Horrible face-melting allergies”-
I've been waiting all day to use that line, but then I reminded myself of the uselessness of making everyone aware of my suffering, so instead I will make you aware of my joy. I don't know if it's truth or just a nice way to look at it, but I've been telling myself that this is what I get for spending all yesterday outside smelling flowers. maybe other things are flowers as well and I've been preoccupied with trying to smell them when I should have been letting them be. anyway it's kinda nice, lying in bed on medicine, having half-awake dreams of friends with sweet juicy centers and petals for hair, pondering the mystery of whether I can disturb the universe- and do I dare?
I like this
I want it hard
I want to be punched in the gut
so I remember how to breathe
stuck in a small space
so I remember how to be free
and sometimes incapacitated
on what would have been a busy day
so I remember how to be me
take a chance on something new or old, then get up and dance it all out because why not dammit. like I'm Samus Aran and I just saved some wretched planet. or I'm a spotted lizard scaling a tree under the canopy. maybe I'm an immaculate angel and you only think you can see me. anyway this is my life.
I get so nervous when I talk to girls
but I immediately bond with squirrels
I'd treasure something you made me out of scraps
but I couldn't care less for pearls
just be with me now, and be with yourself
let's all be together from now on how hard is that
and how hard is it to realize
that every time you give something away
you've already got something in return
this is my kind of thing. a slow-burning fuel made of passion. a steady hand, patient desire. an endless smile that comes over me as I flip through the album of possibilities. like what if we all relaxed and started over from the beginning, or felt so at home that we could take naps wherever we had the feeling. yes, I will work for this, I will commit to this. really I'm not sure what else there is to do anymore.
~
2014 - 2017