like a raindrop
It struck me like a raindrop
through the roof of an old red barn
I felt small and insignificant
like a discarded scrap of yarn
and yet somehow energized
to live the mightiest life I could muster
the rhythm was there, the rhythm of creation,
seeping out of someplace deep and unseen,
both from outside and inside my own being
it was in the rain and the sky and the trees
it was in time itself and my childhood memories
like the smell of spring flowers carried on a breeze
but what can be said of the most primal desire
to stretch and cry to any higher power
to take away your pain?
because that's what it was
that's what it always is
we've lived many lives searching for this release,
each one different from the last
but the yearning is the same
we want paradise now, but pretend we don't know how
so instead, we teach ourselves slowly, as if it's a game
as if other objectives are just as worthy
ahh, my body is weary
I've been this person for what seems like forever
striving always to see more clearly-
the most important endeavor
should I tell you the details of how it hit me then,
for a more entertaining show?
is it not enough to say I am mystified?
yes, that's precisely so
beyond my understanding, beyond my control
a train ride through snowy mountains couldn't do this, no
I am already at the place I want to go
a place where I could spend eternity
and never feel I've lost my soul
because there is nothing to want for here,
and nothing else you need to know
a pinball machine is no better or worse than a barnacle on a boat
and a stack of origami paper is just the same as a winter coat
a humming bird's nest or an old lingering pain
an unsolved physics problem or a fancy walking cane
a cherry pie, a copper tube, a famous opening line
it's all the same when you find yourself outside of space and time
so yes, it struck me like a raindrop
through the roof of an old red barn
long-abandoned and surrounded by trees
and everyone was there with me
not in body but in spirit
and all sense of purpose was unified
instead of competitions I'm supposed to win,
but can't, no matter how hard I tried
yes, it hit me like that
unexpectedly, late at night
in such a way that there was no question
in mind or heart that it was right
and everything would one day coalesce
into some kind of all-reaching light
~
2025