fireflies
one
The total light of my world is equivalent to the fireflies you see in a field at night. Mine however are faster than normal; they dart around too quickly for me to catch them but if I am lucky, once or twice a day one of them will fly close enough that I am illuminated. It lasts only for a moment, and then it's dark again.
two
A Saturday afternoon. After putting it off all day, I sit down to write. It is a letter to someone I have not spoken to in years. An hour goes by, and the paragraph I have written seems to be wandering aimlessly. It occurs to me suddenly that if it's this difficult for me to sort through my feelings, it probably won't be very enjoyable for her to read it, let alone figure out how to respond. I get rid of it, write three simple sentences, and click send.
three
Dawn approaches and my dear dreams are blooming like prehistoric flowers. I'm an inch away from nowhere and still feel I'm falling. I notice a price tag stuck to the back of something; the price is $10.50. I think back to when I bought this thing years ago... I remember the feeling it gave me. And what is left for me now? I don't know, but I really hope this is not the end. It can't be.
four
It is night again. At least ten years have passed (really). It smells like glue in here, and that reminded me of something, but the memory was too quick to catch. The screams of revelers outside, the oppressive heat, the lingering doubts: It's all real. It wasn't the end. Even as I grow tired, I become more aware. Even as I fade from view, I become brighter. It's never over. Never.
~
2006 - 2012 + 2022