a scorched earth
The eternal movement of the Universe has been derailed and over ruled by the harmonious messages of crystal clear freedom ever existing through time and magic caves filled to the brim by great beasts of orange fur who denied all water of the Nile and kicked the apostles in the legs of justice every time the horse came out to rough up a bowling ball or a broad sword sharp and icy enough to manipulate a whole village of sand castles raining down puddles of old-time liquids from the drinking fountains of Neverland where no child eats a bike pedal or thirty-five blocks of Styrofoam which will outlive even the smartest antelopes crawling on the ceiling to find a window to the backyard of the great father of time enough to do one more round of fish throwing barrels of modern tabernacles nailed to drywall and compact discs carrying the wrong virus to complete the levels of holy boots or Boston and a long time of cracking down the light hole driving the sky of missile launchers aiming towards another tasty blueberry pie about to be taken off the shelf and evolved into clay baked with hospital bricks over an evening of divine basketball radio courtship dramas and big letter TV advertising ducks carrying a load of philosophy brought upon the lands of the new world by a number of Roman terrorists speaking of crates and ancient axes made of silver bells rotting with the likes of Texas and other varieties of tea sold at the seashore by unwilling catastrophes eaten and swallowed whole by very negative fly swatters on sale for infinity and also a raptor reading about an illusion of suitcases and globes spinning towards the underwater psychotic rambler giving short umbrellas a hard time finding out their dislikes from the master of vegetables brewing tens of thousands of years wide a Sun so heavy and persuasive that loose molecules won't touch the woven faith and fingers making loopholes for after-dark societies choosing to remain in a rotating order belonging to an indifferent tortoise that renames his collection of noodle dishes with a towel to wipe technology containing any relevant matters or subsystems of nutritious drones evading all they have lived for mowing the mad reality that brought forth Sierra mountains and small black tornadoes twisting the arms of Argentinean generals who bravely passed on a legend of blinking marriages between death and the all powerful surgeon's room dressed in nineteenth century English drapes and antique merry-go-rounds making fun times for apes and spaceships and ping pong paddles weighing in over the regulated amount before a nuclear summer of apples and fog killing every deadly bee who slaps a New York city rat in the face and continues to misuse the vibrant steel of conductor factories on the river of blue convicts battling it out for the last piece of the organization of parental rules and duties of over-sized battering rams forcing officials wearing suits to leave Villa Nueva for losing a loved character who once computed that less than five bananas will write a universal proposal to evacuate the tunnels leading to literal Heaven where all people would never initiate timely matters of evergreen trees and wood grain in the shape of local music acts who once used a toothbrush that cleaned fossil wounds churning in the stomachs of nations stealing gold and growing to an empire of telephone hurdlers chewing raw emotions and physical fate keeping gods out of the circus for an afternoon in a place where more than you need comes before you and your fire lands drying and ripping up the roots of the greatest pineapple tree that ever ran a red light in the Columbia district where so many have lost their power due to extraneous radar conditions flying high on a blade of grass in the deepest well dripping with oil and feathers atoms textbooks baseballs planets suicides super computers relationships biplanes arrows movements dynasties sisters spark-plugs threats submarines heat vents frying pans overloads addictions comet tails cafes millionaires donuts bobsleds time lines fur coats errors wombats commands wires Arabians rain-forests charts players laboratories cartwheels race cars wine bottles theories losses conclusions candy factories motor parts aliens kangaroos and a pirate on a quest to find the truth.
After all the confusion ended, everyone was real quiet. Then there was a loud bang.
Johnny Chaos and his new order of rebels, seventeen-thousand young men and women dedicated to bringing down the house. They took over a whole subway system and renamed it Angel Orange Subway Tunnels. It now runs through the entire metro area, including all major stops.
If history is repeating itself, then I have come from the future to show you the path of righteousness. And if you are begging, please use antidote number thirty-four.
He has a dog that writes books about Siberian tribal chiefs who have interesting pasts. Every Saturday night he goes out to eat with his car parts. He has lots of friends in the business department. He knows everyone in space. With a little spare pocket change, he could buy a road map to the galaxy.
Rocky said, "I want my soup!" Rocky was a big man who didn't like to wait, so the stunned waiter hurried to bring him his tomato soup. Rocky suddenly became intelligent. The waiter stared at him, confused. Rocky said, "They don't serve tomato soup too much at restaurants any more, you know. They serve fancier soups like cream of broccoli, and cheesy potato." Rocky was on television that night, talking about soup. Everyone listened to him, because he was a large man, and he knew what he was talking about.
But that wasn't the last they heard of him. Sure, he lost all his money and became a strong man in a circus, but in his later years he returned to The City to be on the televisions in the store windows again, because he remembered his past one day while he was mowing his lawn, a thing that all people have to do.
To change the mood, turn on some music. To clear your mind, go for a walk. To eat at home when there's no food, order delivery. To cover living expenses, get a job. To make things longer, add more to them. To have fun, go to a party. To hesitate, think about something a while before you do it. To rule the world, obtain billions of dollars. To change the channel, use the remote control. To dry wet clothes, put them in a dryer. To worship a god, go to a place of worship. To understand things, think about them. Then it went on to say more.
It was a Bendari mouse pad, the newest model. It had submarines and paint ball guns. Blasting our way to a better future sky way vacuum Vancouver meltdown traffic city Norrisville Station West below a bag of screws. High hat hardway figures imitating a busy ant on top of the Empire State Building. Collectible cards. Juicy bubble gum. And a whole list of prices. We must not forget about the ancient Greeks! Even though they are dead, they are still a part of history, and we shall have fantastic holidays made after them. They invented teaspoons you know. They drove home on chariots of fire, drinking heavily along the way. But there are too many letters in the alphabet. We will have to remove some of them. The letter "z" should be the first to go. Don't look at me. It wasn't my decision.
A cow bowling you wonder if a cow could bowl and if so would its style be influenced by the things around it things that it has experienced in its life this is madness one-hundred and twenty-two is madness an elevator that only goes up is madness. Salads are useful, great nutritional value. No street value though. Toss a salad on the street and see what happens. See what the first bidder will give for it. A few gold doubloons perhaps. It would start a vegetable riot on the streets of Paris.
There are many things we do not know which we can only find out by looking through telescopes. Perish! Perish at my side! Laugh indubitably now, but everything changes at midnight. It gets a little worried.
People drinking champagne in the yard. Some things just don't go well with barbecue sauce. Get your own, said Sam.
A trillion newspapers have flown through various areas of unknown Shakespeare villages to seek out correct patterns and vivid imaginations in life through programs designed to cut back on the use of regulatory measures and puppy eyes swirling in a giant weather scope transmitting information about espionage intertwined with a monster who eats its own heart attacks.
Some things not everyone knows about like the women in World War Two while the light bulb industry failed at its last attempt to make bathing suits for rocket scientists yearning and signing papers that permit anyone to believe in whatever lands in their backyard with a bag of tricks and smoking chain letters about rabbis becoming movie stars over long periods of time hours of brick laying only to see floods and comets and terrible gangs destroy everything in the royal treasury a treasure trove of elvish things bracelets moon cookies wood carvings and forestry items.
This is truly a devilish place, my child. We are standing in a windswept world of red sand. This desert kills people just by thinking about it. This is not an asteroid. This is not an alternate universe. This is reality, hot as it is. The temperature is too hot to bear for more than a moment. Nothing in any direction but sand, gently sloping mounds of poisonous sand. No one could live here. Do you see any trees? Any vegetation at all? You know how the food chain works. There used to be a city here, though. Calgary, it was called. It wasn't this hot back then. It was heaven compared to this place, although the people who lived here might not have thought of it that way.
At the end of every road is a desert. There is a small road which goes into the royal castle in Luxembourg. The road ends inside the courtyard, in front of the main entrance. Beyond the centuries-old doors lies a massive desert. The coldest place on earth though is in The Outback. In the depths of some unknown swamp is a great big hole in the ground. The hole goes down a little more than a mile, and reaches a massive deposit of silver, which has a temperature far below freezing in its natural, untouched state.
The most massive most cold most electrifying underground explosive mass of chocolate peanut butter honey can be eaten and swallowed in one pint-sized bite. Over-grow your weeds; let them take over. The fruit of honey trees gives way to new seasons of doves and holy things. In Heaven, there are no vending machines. You cannot buy soda in Heaven. For those of you who do not believe in Heaven, this is not a problem.
Two girls were arguing in a hospital. I was sitting on a bench outside a room, waiting for visiting hours to start. I had gotten there a little early. I tried not to be obvious, but I couldn't help looking. From a distance, I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I could tell they were disagreeing from their expressions. I had figured they would leave after the matter was settled, but I was wrong. One of them left, the older one, and the younger, more composed one came and sat on the same bench I was sitting on. It was immediately clear that she made no attempt to make it clear that she was not the least bit interested in me. Most people would have sat as far towards the other end of the bench as they comfortably could, but she sat halfway in between the end and me, as if we knew each other. Things happen so fast. Everything happens so fast, before you're ready for it. If we lived to be a thousand years old, we would realize this more. Our life as a whole would not be a very quick trip, but all the moments that make it up would be. That is why I could not say anything to the girl sitting next to me on the bench in the hospital. I didn't want to live the remainder of a thousand years wishing we had said more than just a few words to each other.
Don't try to make sense out of nothing. There are no hidden messages in life. The power of the magic doughnut should be no surprise. If I had a magic doughnut, I would use it to save the Universe from the sinister Doctor Petroleum. I hate that guy. I hate hating things. I hate upside down sideways maneuvering. Scream as loud as you can. Free the rodent that gnaws at your ancient religion. Fix everything. And for Pete's sake, Retreat! The Klingons have far too powerful weapons for our shields to hold. We wouldn't last two minutes. I'm making history here. Our army has several effects. We waged war against the public and won. They're firing on us! Everyone get in the bomb shelter. Everyone hide in your basement, save all the food and water, wait it out, forget baseball for a while, it'll be raining lead and steel in a minute. I don't think we should be very proud. At least not today.
Oh yes. I'll be sinning when I laugh in their faces.
Financial statements are a bore. And no one can read them without glasses. Everyone is confused about money, and they have no one to teach them. Now we're getting into the movie. If you buy two cheeseburgers, you can get two soft drinks for just 59 cents each. If you have less than seventy-thousand in your checking account, we suggest you foreclose on your house, because you're going down. This is serious tax trouble. Eat gluttony as fast as you can. Eat your tax return sheet, and you won't have to pay anything until nineteen eighty-four. Turn around and shoot your money in the back. Claim your toilet as a deductible.
It's raining professionals outside. Now we can have landscaping done by only the best. Julius Caesar was a professional ticket taker. Augustus Caesar was a professional Michael Jackson look-alike. Silvia Seabrooke was a great actress, until she went and became public. She acted like a two-ton super model. She terrorized Broadway, and everyone loved it. Personal figures make headlines. Everyone has lots of celebrity power. Tame the wild animals, let them in on our society games. Let's all drink Vernors in celebration of Lionel Eldridge, the first man to step foot on a golf course. Buzz Aldrin was the first person to trespass on The Moon. He took a picture of Silvia Seabrooke with him. Everyone is in the magazines. They all smoke cigars. The Indians smoked cigars with the cowboys. Everybody knows about Chief Boltcutter. He was good friends with Julius Caesar. They lived together in the Temple of Athena at the Acropolis. Athena would be jealous of Silvia Seabrooke. They would start a war. It would be Athena's fault, because she should know better. Seafarers don't get a lot of attention. Movies are seen around the world. Leaders of the land are immobilized. No one knows which step to take first. But they still get paid.
And then they buy fudge. Fudge has too much sawdust in it. Sawdust is a combination of raw energy from The Sun and melted crayons. Fudge is a children's toy. They eat it on playgrounds and in nuclear waste dumps, the origin of candy. Some types of candies come in bags. Children eat too much fiber. Everyone needs to go on a diet. A jungle safari would help us lose weight and feel good about ourselves. The field trip is next Monday. Bring snacks to eat on the bus. Bring a sack lunch. Refrigerate medical food, starve the wild people, feed our government. Protest about the use of carrots in vegetable stew. Eat up time. Take too much. Computers have small bits of copper in them, which we have to watch out for. You can't eat everything. Wood is a valuable mineral around the world, and is the cause of many wars.
The tide is in. We're going beyond the swimming area now. Take note of this. Ride this fantastic wave to the other side of paradise flapping birds and freedom. Messages in a bottle of rum. Counting down to infinity.
The greatest thing is when diesel-powered humming birds cross your path in little groves of purple orchids, a beautiful scene all at once.
Venomous spiders will try to poison our journey to the ultimate awakening, but nobody will last long on this ride. Most drop out before the ninth inning playing games for hours on end they can't take it can't cut through the pressure can't spell a darn thing right overlooking our serious crimes we have only yet begun.
Beautiful and gracious poetry begins here at the daybreak of dawn our dawn our sunrise animals fleeing to shadows spirits rising to the occasion everything laughs gently like clouds moving across the ocean and waves rolling in the sky we take a dive and see the top of the bottom side.
A masterpiece of ingenuity is what we call everyday life here in the poles of the Universe everything gets mentioned quite a lot because there is interest we have very own minds singing the song of life twiddling our thumbs in front of the most dangerous snake we can now laugh at him with the power of electronics, oh is that all you have for me.
I thought we were done.
Done over now the end of time is tomorrow we haven't rubbed tires on our faces or strewn bikinis throughout the galaxy or ripped a whole in space or eaten our playthings or used strawberries as a basis for government or sent the Germans to retrieve lost items or drawn pictures of naked whales or decentralized the space program of 2147 or launched books to the center of our minds or burned every forest there ever was or found our angels and imprisoned them or made everyone pretend for a year or spent time with our younger brothers or stated that half of us must roam the fields or picked straws to find lovers or sampled the sound of a pulsar in full reverse or pointed arrows at Virginia or exploded under the stress of steel wool or taken way too long to pronounce our language or ceased sleeping for the rest of the century or turned everything back to the old techniques or waited for gnomes to fix our plumbing or sprinkled cinnamon on every flag or played with the electrical systems for dangerous fun or communicated with the dirt or sat and did everything in our minds or changed the world forever or had our pets run the show or made coloring books of axe murderers or answered the telephone and said good-bye or slid down a hill onto a bed of daisies or made up with our stepmothers or tamed the wild aliens for circus use or sent gun issues to the chapel or maintained a twenty-seven average or built a house for famous uncles or made John Doe the judge of everything or shot holes through our foreign cars or changed the spelling of the word Latin or read up on Babylon or married people who have died or visited a frosty hill in New England or burned the information on who's who or disliked our social director or covered our radar waves from view or sent blank checks to the farm to be published or realized that an Amish a Muslim a Cardinal a Chicago Bull a corporate lawyer a Corvette enthusiast a British botanist a secret lover a secretary an officer a trumpet player an Indian elephant a tribe member a lazy student an eager to leave prisoner and a factory worker are not going to come to a unanimous decision on the fate of the world in a single afternoon.
There are way too many selfish maniacs in Ohio. They practically drive on the wrong side of the road there, and don't think twice about it. A long time back, do you remember that guy in line at the hardware store? He was probably from Ohio. Some people like to tell others what to do. Don't I know it. I was once conned into going on a two-year all-expense-paid trip to Royal Amsterdam with a bunch of hooligans. No offense, but I rather would have stayed home. I could have brushed up on my drawing skills, or cleaned my room. Do not oppress. The oppressor will someday become the oppressed.
And so they pretend to ask themselves: I'm not selfish, am I? I'm not conceited, am I? I'm right, aren't I? Yes, of course. I don't know how I ever doubted myself. It's obvious who's in the wrong here, and it isn't me. But it's all just a trick, and only they know the secret. They need to eat a piece of wood, and see what it does to their teeth. That is what they do to other people's minds.
They are rubber bands without any souls. They wobble all over.
I feel sick. Dread sickness. It's hard to breathe when you always eat more than you need. Food stays with you if you let it. It goes to all parts of your body your veins heart stomach feet and behind your eyes. At the stroke of midnight turning over for the hundredth time. Pain keeps you from sleeping; it wants you to know that it's there, and to do that it needs to be awake. The pilgrims suffer. People who ingest bullets through their skin suffer. All the midnight wanderers suffer until dawn and sometimes longer. The word of pain is god. For some people, a being who can do anything only exists when no one else can do what they need done. Wait and see the next time you get yourself into a horrible fix. Seasons will come and go in a matter of seconds. See beyond this, jump to a different place and time. There is only one way. The dictionary will explain everything. I thank the holy dentist for saving my life. Not all of it, but a good part of it. A part that I wouldn't have wanted to miss. And when I'm older, I'll still be able to chew.
Snake bites see lightly through razor-edged passages. Dark secrets in tiny paperback books. Sneak around and find out what friends really think. Ancient wisdom is not in the classrooms. It's under the ocean: the lost continent. Not Atlantis. There was no Atlantis, it was just a myth. There was another island, in the Pacific. It had no name, and the people who once lived there did not use names. Everything was nameless.
Our language is finely crafted. Some people use this to their advantage, while others barely get by. Book writing is a serious thing, which can also become a difficult thing. For example, I could use finely crafted harmoniously flowing sentences to explain what I experienced last night, and how it felt. But I won't.
After that was the burly month of September. It rained for two-hundred years. That was a fun night, playing poker and eating too many cheese balls. My friends ran up a huge bill of American living, so I treated them to royal life in Jamaica. School is not really that much fun, unless you're interested in what you're learning. Even then it can be a real hassle. There are many different kinds of schools. Some specialize in certain subjects, and some just teach general education. I learned to read in school. I learned to swim at the beach. After elementary school comes middle school, then high school, then college. You learn things as you go. One of the things you learn in aviation school is how to fly a plane. Warrior school in ancient times was probably a lot harder on your feet than it was on your brain. Big cities have a higher dropout rate, because it's harder to learn there, with all that stuff going on.
Get the heck off my playground. Eat dirt. Say the alphabet backwards. Spell “Lamborghini.” Things fall apart after a while. Everything goes in order. Seventy-six comes a ways after seven. In the jungle, there is an order to who eats who. The smaller, weaker things usually get eaten by the larger, stronger things. Some things have different measurements. That is what makes them different. Throw a rock and a piece of paper at your window, and see which one wakes up the neighbors. Don't laugh too much at a movie that isn't funny. Laugh a little at movies that are a little funny, and laugh a lot at movies that are really funny. It goes in direct order.
Everything except for the strange. Hey, you were never accepted into society, you don't own anything, you don't have what it takes to be a lawyer. Everyone must be a lawyer from now on. We can all sue each other. Pending cases and misjudged trials and loopholes in the law. We can all get away with everything. You're under arrest for never having seen a movie where people get buried alive by lava. She was trying to save her kid, and fell into an opening. Liquid explosion, I forgot to tell you of the dangers of Earth. The most important thing is finding altitude choking pancake slapping loose ends around the Table of Eden. Take time out to practice leaving your house in a hurry. Some people aren't all there, and will have a hard time. Your neighbors could be cold blooded killers. There are cold blooded killers, and someone has to live next to them. Frail and lonely hidden in your basement. Team up with friends and the weaker ones can sometimes conquer the stronger ones. This happens a lot in South America. Big drug lords go down eventually. It's not a good idea to be someone who is hated by lots of people. Abstract ideas make it hard to understand what goes through people's heads sometimes. The human theory. Everyone once lived on Mercury, but only in our dreams. Then it got too hot. Heat and lava and fire and various other things can kill us. Life is hard.
Suddenly Major Alberts stopped marching. “This is not what we came here to do,” he said. Postwar efforts have turned over sweet profits, magnetic strife and visual sense. The unintended consequences. But humans aren't all about material things, no sir. In fact we ripped the fabric of reality right open. What came out, we called emotions.
We are floating mountain angelic orphan piano key monsters, breaking the melancholy tide. Swim like an oxen, obviously pronounced. Read your books backwards and hear new stories. Old things contain, establish an epitaph for younger versions. Flow in the direction of the wind, maple flavored rainbow at the end. You can throw up now. All that you have ever known can come out in gracious convulsions. Break down and sell your gas-guzzling car. Make decisions to override your own decisions, then change your schedule. You can't move on until you're able. Time takes some amount of time to pass. You'll get out when the in doesn't want you anymore. Your house will kick you out when it's time to move on.
Piano keys dramatically enhance every day rhythm. Whining violin has drones flying about, telling sleepers to fall asleep. The Sun has some say in the daily events. Where it shines is where the cat sits. We'll sit on your patio for a while, if you don't mind. Some say that living on the street is hard; others are truck drivers. But it's a hard life out there on the highway too. Always waiting for the weather person to tell us the news. Driving a fast car, racing trampoline route canals. Fast drumming, slow humming, ever ready peninsula chain lucrative family pencil options. Legions of unwanted runners eating the paint off your doorstep. Watch for bearded swashbucklers, and two-dimensional figures in your silver grain putty farm. Carry on as if climbing Scandinavia was no problem, as if there were ailing northern scuba divers training undersea inmates. It's a scary thought, the door slam emporium. Take an enemy to dinner, find out their maximum heritage, and whether they succeeded in dynamiting your soft broken home. I've heard this before. Nothing is new today. It's all the same to me, just throw it away when it's old and try to move on. Even words get old after a few months of using them. Maybe it's time we made up a new language, for a new frontier.
A girl was sitting next to me on a bench in a hallway in a hospital, and I asked her how to get out of a tough situation. She told me to use my brain, and I told her I already tried that, and it didn't work. She said that the only thing left was to leave it all behind. Start again, in a new place and time.
Who did this to you? Why are you lying on the floor like this? Someone has been very bad. When you have a knife in your back, you don't care what day of the week it is.
So we have a situation here. Is it recently showered confetti?
The glittery night life of El Toro City. People walking around dressed as animals. Bored rich people who can't find anything better to do than drink fumes from car mufflers. The address is redacted. Do you want the phone number too? Arthur C. Clarke knows that if you live in space and you phone a friend on Earth, the conversation would be quite slow. And no one would hear you scream in time. Did you hear the circus is coming to town on an old-fashioned circus train? I hope that paints a picture. Yes she gives kudos to anyone at all. It's very annoying, those morning broadcasts. A kid died on that TV show the other night. He liked country music, and they buried him with his big country hat. He probably liked chocolate chip cookies, but I can't say. They serve those at cozy redwood coffee houses with plaid couches. The couches were delivered by a guy named Al. Al had some wit, which is essential to getting anywhere in life.
Gently sloping algorithms. Wavy lines, straight lines, and spiral lines all make up the coordinate system. That heavy brick thing that is math.
We walk for years, until we come to the end of the road. Fly battery withstanding eleven blasts of unusual power. Bank employees working on company time, overusing plugs and causing short circuits. An entire skyscraper burned down to its bones, and an old hotel with it. Time causes every fantasy to come true. Things will eventually happen, because there is time for everything. In the midst of a forest, thick with trees and ferns and vines. It's a bit dark, and very gloomy, because the canopy is blocking all the direct sunlight. Roots and thorns are everywhere. You need armor to survive around here. The giant toads will surely get you if you're unprotected. Use your wings! Icarus, destroy them! I'm going to use a chain saw on my math test.
See a beautiful new day through breathtaking new windows. Thanks to my friend, who created a world where a man has a room in his house that has only a toaster, and nothing else.
Are you still here? I thought you were gone.
Anyway, about now them kids were gettin' mighty hungry, so they decided to make a pit stop at the Grayling diner. Lots of adventures for them small town kids. A river and a steamroller. An old abandoned tire factory, and plenty of broken windows. And dirt. We always wash our hands before we eat dinner, 'cause we been workin' and playin' outside all day. It gets in the little creases in our skin, and under our fingernails. Every piece of dirt is important. I used my hand to pick up a baseball that landed in some bushes the other day, and it had gotten some dirt on it. Dirt that nobody else has seen or touched in ages. Maybe never. I might be the discoverer of that dirt. I'll bring it home and wash it down the sink. Lonely dirt.
Lonely sand. Ugly sand or beautiful sand. Ugly sand in your shoes. The same sand, now beautiful on the leg of a person you like. A grain of sand cannot be crushed by the strongest man. It's virtually indestructible. But quite easy to kick, though.
As comfortable as I can be. Letting my mind flow from sand to water and back again. They always meet each other somewhere. Too tired to swim, and the sand is too hot. Looks like I'll have to hang around the shore. I've been here too long now, and the sun is getting to me. In the distance I see an animal coming my way. It's a lobster, a telephone, a snake, and a taxi, I think. Or it could just be that I'm remembering it wrong.
They said I have nuclear fission in my head. Maybe I do. I'm a raving lunatic on weekends, though I'm not sure if that's the cause of it.
Did I forget to mention? Was it? Why does the tree grow into the sky? Why parallel hearts. Continuity is such a long word, it could be a sentence in itself. If someone asks me my opinion on something important, I'm going to think about it and then say real slow “continuity.” It will be in an alley of sorts, in a small town in the '50s where everyone grew up, behind the deli or something. There will be a stray cat, weeds growing next to a fence, and you will never see a picture of this place, because nobody ever thought to take a camera back there.
Was it the insane order of micro-braniac criminals? Did they do this to you? Put a band-aid on your frail sack of organs and go back outside and finish playing with your bouncy balls and jump ropes and funky music and whatever you kids do these days of sun-drenched blue-jean-wearing fields of little flowers. Oh sing me a song of the days back then where the cows and the salespeople. Spicy Cajun food in a not so spicy atmosphere is now available through the miracle of home delivery.
Do you think people in an alternate universe would know what I'm talking about?
I don't suppose you've ever had a new sport utility vehicle in your living room. It's very useful for simulating the experience of traveling to remote places. You can get in and pretend you're driving through a dense jungle using your house plants, or you can use it as a bed and sleep in the back seat. When you have company over, they'll be curious and want to go inside it too. But what about the car- will it ever get to feel pavement, mud, a downpour, the wind, the sun?
And our teeth! In all this confusion we can't forget to brush our teeth. Of course we are allowed some leeway in certain instances- a quick brushing perhaps. But no matter if there's been a death, or you've just fallen in love for the first time, you still need to brush. Our teeth won't wait. One thing we can forget though, is tucking in our shirts. If disaster should ever befall us, it won't be caused by an un-tucked shirt, I can tell you that!
Throw the lightning for tonight, strand the horse. I don't care what mega brain fizzing motor head. A para-tank chimpanzee keeper with his shirt tucked in. The malt shop is closed. Her heart is closed. Their minds are closed. But the door is open.
Do you ever wonder if the door is open? The big blue striped electric neon drawing itself door floating in space. Trip the wire- no the green one! You always do it wrong. Everyone always does everything wrong. No one has ever done anything right. We all criticize the mainstream blowing up sex store. Anti-prophecy life mongers renting space from an abandoned pterodactyl. Criss-cross puddle jumping overhead slow vision skywire highway chasing train robbers, they run the show here at Bob's poisonous greenhouse island terror boarding school bridge damping voltage lots and lots of volts to keep it all moving. If you have some experience in electronics and pencil sharpening, you can successfully stop the lightning by throwing the horse in the way at just the right time. Kiss me, electric lime beautiful.
Over the last ten years, thousands of wild New England Geese have been lost due to the recent rise in the alligator population. Alligators are fierce creatures with long, sharp teeth, and they only attack at night. Thousands of different alligators, all with different genes. Think of the possibilities. At the Kazinski alligator farm in North Carolina, trainers have successfully mated an alligator with a parakeet. It died two hours after being born, but they'll try again soon. They'll try to mate a piece of rope with several knots in it with a jackhammer. Jackhammers also happen to be predators of the geese, so you can understand why this mission is a top priority for scientists right now.
By the way, did you see the article in the newspaper the other day? It was about newspapers and why we should have them. They really nailed the point home.
Now using ultrasounds to see if rhinoceri are ready to breed. Now serving number 331, everyone climb aboard. Oak trees are so intelligent, they can acrobat family head room tugging cruise ship maneuver themselves into tiny spaces. Due to the national authority on who should be an authority, everyone must be inside their homes by seven P.M. The pipe fitters, the plumbers, the musicians union, and the baseball players. Anyone who has recently received a residence worth at least fourteen million dollars must report to the coroner's office for a residual checkup, an age old secret. Final notice: Everyone must be removed from the premises by the first day of spring.
We felt sorry for the Antichrists. They did their best to turn this world into an evil place. All the trees would have been black and twisted, and ravens the only birds to be found perched on their branches. So why are the ravens still here? Those were the days, back when the great battle was still going on. Lightning shooting in all directions, giant clouds of dust and smoke, avalanches, volcanoes erupting, whirlwinds. Looking glass sees all the world, and we now know what happened in history. A powerful 600 speed magnifying glass invented by M. Don Tubulous, the creator himself. The evidence is always hiding under the bed. Some crazy crayfish who traveled back in time creating a magnetic essence of fierce purple. They had some unbelievable adventures, and you can find out all about them at 9:30 A.M., Saturday mornings, on channel 37. The wonderful world of piano caging. The angry spear.
Looking closely, we see there appears to be a set of buttons engraved into the lower portion of the craft. Each one is marked with some kind of symbol, unknown to us. If I press the fourth one from the left, my head will turn into a cold storage facility. If I press the ninth one from the left and the one all the way on the right simultaneously, I will be prompted to fill out a series of questionnaires. By far the most deadly combination is to press the middle three in succession, from left to right. This will cause taxes on daisies and marigolds to be raised by thirty-four percent.
Binocular training vessel stimulation coronary super spy where thrifty lofting wood mammals rainy day driving decibel jumping space flight wave.
We Theodore cranial visit ray household drawing three disable shut calculation melting month fir tree window modern available drifting snail parallel tubular nodding punch threaten cut axe trying low swing mega horde vanishing translucent beam very speaking it craving raging crying super death.
By far, every sad person who craves super death will not get what they ask for, but they will get what they paid for, whether it be in yen or pesos. As for the disabled, they can change melting to disintegrating for the same effect. This piece of plastic tends to get very hot after a long use. If you, friend, are tired, then rest your eternal soul in your very own field of cartoon carrots. They're edible too, in case you get hungry.
But the travelers must go home now, as The Sun is getting low. You don't want to be hanging around after dark in Fantaville. Popcorn city, some call it.
Pink flower, purple flower, bees humming for my loved one. Telling her a story of where they've been. To the most beautiful places, she tells me. I always listen to what she has to say. In a way, she knows everything there is to know. I'm serious when I say I've gone swimming in her pool. This is a real thing I'm talking about. This should stand out from everything else here.
The eternal movement of the Universe has stopped. We've seen it coming for some time now. A very slow death. So it goes.
Seagulls are very aerodynamic birds. Any bird, if it chooses, can fly at dusk, when The Sun is setting. Trees all around me. I look outside when it's getting close, and I can see a line at the tops of the trees where The Sun is still shining. Down here, where I am, it's already gone. If they want, they can have several minutes more sunlight than us. They can fly over lake Huron in the sunlight that only seagulls get to see.
It's a very sharp difference, being in the sunlight and not in the sunlight. I sometimes feel that while I'm in the sunlight, the Universe is warm and alive, and when I'm not in the sunlight, the movement of the Universe has stopped, dead cold, and given me time to think about things.
The sumptuous cat, wandering fat cat. Lick your lips and feel the meat of existence.
How little we know about space monkeys. We do know that their biology is very different from ours. They can live to be around four-hundred years old. And their society differs greatly from ours as well. Some aspects of their world seem admirable, while others only seem strange.
They make no demands upon each other, and expect nothing of anyone.
They live for themselves.
Cotton, sweet field orderly, pining for more pancakes. Dripping with syrup and buttered blue flags. Blowing in the candy yellow wind, over and below the angels of the harvest. We took a plane trip in a gentle 1942 duster, a nilly of a machine. Set her down in a pile of autumn leaves baking sweet apple crumb cakes and coffee. Time to take a slow ride down memory lane. Open up a jar and fill it with ripe nectarines on the brittle old wood of the porch. This place could use a cleaning. Time again to scrub the planks. Rolling field rolling I smell fall coming. Don't want to go home now, we've been playin' all day. Let's make this last forever?
But you can't escape sleep. Cuddle me little blue bear, little precious bedtime thing. Little mass-marketed cartoon character made into a toy for children just like me.
I used to go swimming in the lake every night. I liked to go under and stay there as long as I could. Look up and see The Moon hitting the top of the water. Two feet, five feet, ten feet... darkness. If I want to go any deeper, I'd have to go in the ocean. A bay, where the sand is white and so forth. Eventually we will all learn to live there. Another frontier.
Carry it, bury sublime feelings throw away the troll, sixteen. She has her hands full now, nothing stays easy for long. Must use stronger tape. Hack away, juggling flying street paving sloth roaming great seas barren fire-eater. This seal has unknown cannibalistic seals imprinted. A variety of religious animals, escapists from red country.
Let's go over the colors of the rainbow. Everyone together now: Red, blue, green, yellow, bombshell gray, northern blue, anthaleum, malicious magenta, slippery green, downcast white, overcrowded red, marine blue, gracious grape, tusk, racecar yellow, undersea yellow, ferocious yellow, ice cream white, bone white, dead white, mandarin orange, zingy blue, bluegrass, octavia, Superman yellow, smoky explosion, plastic black, stereo black, anti-matter black, black hole black, extinct black, carnival black, silent black, juicy black, lost black, super black, ballroom black, snake's throat black, city black, lonely black, cowboy black, screams in the dark black, 4:04 in the morning black, freshly killed black, fever black, industrial black, suffocating black, broken black, soul black, famous black, greedy black, raven's wing black, record black, tire black, knife black, fighting black, magic black, definite black, clear black, sporting black, hatred black, speedy black, dreamy black, invisible black, controller black, left black, firework black, bullet black, deep black, loose black, corporate black, keyhole black, sparky black, vicious black, takeover black, saxophone black, alien black, tantrum black, blizzard black, and tropical fruity black.
These colors are of course specialized, and take an extra two to four weeks to deliver. For those more experienced in color trapping who want to do it themselves, all of these colors and more can be found in a melting pot at the bottom of a rainbow. But watch those loopholes; they kill southern easy guitar cranking showoffs.
In the last few months, I began to realize the incredible sanctum upon which this government is built. Our forefathers once stood upon these same steps, in the days of yore. Theirs was an unrestrained government of maniacal gospel music. Naturally, it's in my blood to feel the need to help those in need themselves, to give them the tools and the training to make it through the tunnel of today's society. The Army National Guard has been doing this for over one hundred years, and I think we all could take advantage of it.
We've been climbing these orange snapping willow trees looking for ourselves, trying to build up our muscles and see what's out there. But to fossilize our skeletons, all we need is a home workout kit, now available through the advanced targeting system of Norway. For only pennies a month, we can have one right in the comfort of our own homes.
That's the real path, right through those bushes. Follow the trail until you see a huge twisted oak tree, I mean a real big one. The waterfall comes out of a small hole about six feet up in the trunk. The tree pulls the water from an underground spring. It's the only one like it in the world. Does anyone here know Mildew? He's a gnome. He's been the tree's caretaker for the last eighty-five years. He's a real nice guy. Keeps to himself though. But he's getting old.
And he's comin' home, he's comin' home. To the fantastic place you all once knew. That playground where we used to chew our gum. Where we always felt safe. Come back to me please my love. I picked you up today, and dusted you off. Just like an old book, I opened you up.
Processed, obsessed, desired, and fully intended to react.
This is time capsule legacy my friends.
We're witnessing the phenomena of nature.
And this is what we ended up with.
We'll keep looking.
We'll keep a light on for you.
Fire it up!
You are the spacecraft of my mind.
I cannot fly without you.
Need more fuel.
End of transmission.
~