a day at the park
"that's as bright as she gets boss"
(it's the nineteen-twenties, drunk, stammering, all nervous about something)
OH SHIT, I would say, and we'd all capitalize on that with good laughter
have it out a bit, won't you?
you sure will
drink from the bottle
or if that makes you sick just dive into the water
don't worry about me papa, it's all right
I mean I love old movies where things happen old movie style
but at the same time I wonder how people could have been so strange
look, I'm a Bodhisattva, and I probably didn't spell that right, but I'll fix it later
a bodhi-whatever is a person who is about to reach, or is able to reach, total oneness, absolute being, an absence of desire even in the face of a hot fresh pizza
really it doesn't matter what you call it or think it is
(there's a bird behind me and its name must be Moomooq)
but, to put it back together again, no doubt anyone like that will be sort of gone, as far as society is concerned
everyone buzzing like a bee in a hive, while you just sit there all day and watch the waves
and that's useless for everyone else
but then the person sees the folly in this, and thinks “maybe since I understand so much I should try to save everyone from the slop pile”
step two is that I sort of gave up on the giant broom of holiness, since I can't seem to lift it myself, and no one wants to help
step three is that I find you and hold you
hold you like no one else has
to know something is to keep it, and to keep it is to let it go
time and space are irrelevant, so..
I'd compare you to all sorts of big and beautiful things-
big things like oceans and galaxies-
beautiful things that are only known to me, because they involve my memories
ETC.
and don't you know you could go on and on and on and what power?
(all the power in the world is yours)
I don't want it
(yes you do)
fine. I'll take it and hold it until the real owner shows up
such tricks you can do in life that I'm not quite sure if I'm living or tricking sometimes!
I swear I look for you everywhere. like right in the middle of something I'll suddenly feel a chill run down my spine and there must be an opposite somewhere which is warmth, and that's gotta be you, right? but I'm at this park and there's just a million acres here and I don't think you're here
we could make it like a game
why not I guess, after so many other attempts at life have failed
we could find each other using a map that denotes time instead of space
we could make flowers unfold and shine in our dreamlike beauty
we could have laughing fits even when no one made a joke
and I'll say peculiar things like “that's all I got lady”
and you in reply “that's all I want captain”
it'll be euphoric
(I looked up just now to see a small plane doing rollovers. that was quite unexpected. a minute later I thought it was coming back but it was only a lawn mower behind me.)
oh I thought of a million things here
and it ended with a slender blue ribbon tied around a post,
with one end fluttering in the wind.
I was thinking to describe it as swinging at first,
but it was moving far too fast to be swinging,
so I kept going until I arrived at fluttering.
the thought process went like this:
“what do ribbons do in the wind? (a few seconds go by) oh yeah, flutter”
if you don't believe me it's because you don't understand
~
2003